You could always ‘just’ adopt?

You could always ‘just’ adopt?

You will hear this phrase from well meaning friends and family members almost immediately after you’ve had your infertility confirmation.By way of offering some kind of solution to your heartache, very similar to the John Lewis money back guarantee ‘if your first product hasn’t worked out, just come on down and bring it back, swap it for something similar.’

I’m going to be brutally honest here. ‘Just’ adopting a child will not replace the loss of a biological child.

They are their own person, they will arrive in your lives at whatever age with all of their rightful history. Of course, it goes without saying they become your child, they enrich your lives and you theirs the same way any other family would. But you must take the time to grieve for the life you assumed you would have before you embark on this journey.

I look back now just under a year into placement and can honestly say, I wouldn’t have things any other way. What you come to realise is, we have chosen to love our son.

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