The ‘nod’

The ‘nod’

It’s going to be tough ; You give em the nod.

You can’t replace the loss of a biological child ; Double nod.

It’s irrelevant how old the child is at the point of adoption, they have all suffered attachment trauma; Even bigger nod, slight widening of the eyes also by this point, shows committed engagement.

I understood attachment trauma, school of life and hard knocks had taught me that one; YOLO. I understood anger through fear, I’ve lived with anxiety most of my life. Planned my funeral multiple times, convinced myself I’m dying, lived with intrusive thought and battled with infertility.

Enter NFM; If theres one person who can really understand what these children need NFD, it’s going to be me. *Flicks hair, songs of praise esq saviour complex music starts to play.

Let me tell you something now; You could have personally written books on this shiz, share the same bloodline with Steiner, Piaget and Ainsworth; (They’re big time psycologists, google just told me) Nothing can prepare you for when you are emotionally involved with, love, someone with early attachment trauma. A child. When you’ve fallen in love with a child, your child and they are suffering, No amount of text books, advice, seminars or nodding prepared me for that.

Strip the formalities away, the (mostly unasked for) complimentary advice, *I have always loved a freebie, lost count on the amount of chilli cheese cubes i’ve sampled at a deli. literature, podcasts and documentaries you understand all of that, you’ve done the training, (thats right, i’m a fully fledge trained parent. No mention of the green shit that comes out of them though was there?I defiantly do not remember nodding to that)

Strip all of that away and you’re left with a very fragile human element to this;

A little boy unable to play for fear of abandonment.

A beautiful room full of beautiful toys, but his porcelain mind won’t let him believe


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