The ‘nod’

It’s going to be tough ; You give em the nod. You can’t replace the loss of a biological child ; Double nod. It’s irrelevant how old the child is at the point of adoption, they have all suffered attachment trauma; Even bigger nod, slight widening of the eyes also by this point, shows committed…Continue reading »


We live in the #bekind era, we’ve all learnt from the devastating effects negative social media can have on people’s well -being haven’t we? Unless of course, someone decides to post a picture of something we cant comprehend. Or makes us feel uncomfortable, then it suddenly falls into the realms of ‘inappropriate.’ Chrissy Teign and…Continue reading »

Dear Mr Department store. The sequel

Published Sep 2020 Not a Fictional Mum is a breath of fresh air in the adoption community on Instagram. Her honest posts that put into words exactly how a lot of us have been feeling, are brilliant. And she’s opened a shop which stocks gorgeous clothing and jewellery to reflect the whole host of emotions involved…Continue reading »

A schedule for motherhood

Published on 07 September 2020 One of our Barnardo’s adopters – blogger and mother, notafictionalmum – writes about her journey through adoption, how their lives changed and the challenges and privileges of being a mum.  Hi, I’m notafictionalmum.  I’m a perfectionist, a planner. I like to plan most aspects of my life, I would love to plan…Continue reading »

Look Nigel! An adopted child.

Top Tip; Start thinking of some spectacularly good come back answers to these questions now. There’s nothing more infuriating than pacing up and down your kitchen afterwards imagining all the brilliantly eloquent, passively aggressive things you should have said. You want to be able to suck it to them right there and then. If I…Continue reading »

Step into my office

“Is there some reason my coffee isn’t here? Has she died or something” The Devil Wears Prada You can’t have a baby; You throw yourself into your job.  You get promoted You get promoted  You buy another handbag  Five years down the line, you’re still throwing yourself into your work because it’s better than throwing…Continue reading »

Undercover Mother

What everyone fails to mention when you adopt is; not only will you have to deal with the significant life change of becoming a mother, you also take on the role of working for the sodding FBI! Thats right, alongside spending your life picking Pom Bears out of your hair, there’s the sideline role of…Continue reading »

Exceedingly good gossip

A- “You know that couple? The one that live on Disneyland way? Come on, you know the ones. She sounds really posh, he’s really tall?” B- “You mean the really good looking, super fit guy who’s married to the athletic woman with the amazing hair?” (its my blog. I can use whatever descriptives I choose.)…Continue reading »

Finding Nemo

Just keep swimming. “Get a baby, just get a kid as young as you possibly can, they won’t remember all the crap that went on before” You may hear this (or variations of) from well meaning associates during your journey. But, how young is young enough? My son was just 21 months old when he…Continue reading »


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